Dating Stories
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About 2 years ago, when I was getting ready to move from the west coast to the east coast, I signed on with an internet dating service, and set up several dates for the week after my arrival. All told, over the first two weeks of my residence on the east coast, I went on 8 dates.
A few notes in regards to this venture: one, I stated clearly in my ad that I was not interested in a relationship, per se, I was simply interested in making new friends in the Boston area. And two, I was excruciatingly honest about my 'stats'. I listed my actual weight (at the time, 175) and indicated that I was 'average' looking.
My dates were as follows:
Date#1: The man who listed himself as 'very good-looking, 5'10", and well-built' turned out to be a scrawny, balding nerd with bad skin who was maybe, MAYBE, 5'6". And he had the nerve to greet me with the warm and fuzzy "I thought you'd be thinner." (at 175 lbs? Really? Can I add 'bad at math' to that equation?).
Date#2: Was much, much heavier than he'd indicated in his ad, but seemed nice. He was pretty cheap, however - split the dinner bill exactly down the middle, despite the fact that I ate a salad and didn't drink. Oh well. We did meet up again for a second date, and it was during this date that he decided to tell me that he was into cross-dressing and liked to 'borrow' clothes from his girlfriends. I told him I wasn't interested. It wasn't the 'alternativeness' of it so much as I KNEW I would end up subsidizing his pantyhose fetish, the cheap bastard!
Date#3: Was a rabid libertarian, and kept angrily going on and on about the right to bear arms. Drank three whiskeys, ate ½ of my dinner, and then claimed to have forgotten his wallet. I heard recently that he'll be running for office locally. Scary.
Date#4: A doctor. He said almost nothing throughout our drinks, just sort of stared off into space and/or kept checking his beeper. Fastest date I ever had, but at least he was kind enough to foot the bill (at his salary, that doesn't seem out of line to expect). Never heard from him again. C'est la vie.
Date#5: a self-styled entertainment promoter. Still wearing the collar of his polo shirt turned up a la 1984. Talked ceaselessy about his boat and about his ex-wife, 'the bitch.'
Also forgot his wallet. Nuff said?
Date#6: Very sweet, but religious and way too young. We did keep in touch for the occasional lunch for awhile. Mostly he picked my brain about women. A sweet little puppy, but a puppy nonetheless.
Date#7: I have dubbed this one "VaticanMan" or "UberCatholic". This guy was the most Catholic person in the world, barring the pope. And he wanted to know, before the first date, if I'd convert. All his idions were Catholic. It was insane. He was like a walking Adam Sandler skit.
Date#8: Pot-smoking computer nerd with a penchant for crass jokes. Shouldn't have gone on this one at all.
Summary: The sad thing is, these were the 'winners'! I got scads of hideously funny replies that went unanswered (the classic was from a 50 year old man who wanted to go 'horseback riding on the beach, with our hair streaming in the sultry breeze.'). All in all, I wouldn't go the internet dating route again.but I'll always be able to laugh about my short foray into that venue!
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